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Well, up... ish. I'm working on it, dammit! Index: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Syd Lexia on Crystalis It is the twentieth anniversary of End DAY, so let's discuss Crystalis. This article is still under building.

Christmas at Kris Lexias: Beauty and the Beast Style Kris Lexia opinions Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas WARNING: This text incorporates prolonged discussion about massive organs.

Random Musings: The Legend of Zelda Syd pontificates on the first Legend of Zelda game, about nothing in particular. In loving reminiscence of Raymond Scott Bishop, 1993-2014.

Ten Years: A Retrospective In honor of the site's tenth anniversary, here's a 50,000 word retrospective. That, or it's a Kris Lexia article about Neopets toys from McDonalds.

Kris Lexia's Snackoween Spooktacular And now for one thing fully completely different, this is Syd's sister eating Halloween-themed foods. Also featured inside: ghosts. (Not likely.)

Syd Lexia on Abadox Abadox is the story of a design staff's bizarre eye fetish. This is not a joke. Also featured inside: ghosts.

Pong: Violent, Sexist, and Vile Sexism in video games is quite the recent-button issue. We must battle it. One drawback: how do you struggle a video game tradition that's nearly as previous as video games themselves?

Bart's Nightmare: A Review By Valdronius Bart's Nightmare is, if nothing else, a reasonably fairly game. To find out whether it is nothing else, attempt studying this review by Valdronius.

Nine Simple Truths That Mega Man Proved Wrong There are things you recognize that aren't as often known as you recognize them to be. Mega Man's adventures on the NES will train you this. Question Everything.

Super Mario CCD: Legend Of The Seven Deadly Sins In keeping with the Catholic Church, there are Seven Deadly Sins that one can commit. Super Mario, typically cited as a paragon of virtue, is guilty of all of them.

???????????? You haven't yet unlocked this article. YOU Need More Credits.

NES Launch '85: A Take a look at The first Games For The Nintendo Entertainment System The Nintendo Entertainment System simply turned 25 years previous. In celebration of this tremendous anniversary, here's a glance back on the system's launch games.

DuckTales Is Impossible And Reality As We all know It is A large Fucking Lie You probably remember Capcom's DuckTales recreation for the NES as being really enjoyable and fairly simple. Well, it wasn't. It was inconceivable. Also: actuality is a lie.

Syd Lexia vs. The Addams Family Cereal This article is devoted to the dearly departed Raul Julia, who performed Gomez in the one two Addams Family movies that matter. Hopefully I'll be seeing him quickly.

Syd Lexia vs. Cabbage Patch Kids Cereal Jesus Christ. Cabbage Patch Kids Cereal. Seriously? I really do not want to eat this.

Syd Lexia vs. Slimer And The actual Ghostbusters Cereal When I'm eating expired cereal, in your neighborhood... who ya gonna name? THE PARAMEDICS!

Syd Lexia vs. Bill & Ted's Excellent Cereal Hey, I wager you won't dare me to eat some cereal from 1990. Go ahead, dare me. Come on! Whatever, I'm gonna do it anyway.

10 Things On The NES That I actually Didn't Need to See Because Ryan's naked ass was one naked dude ass too many. WARNING: May comprise cat anus.

The 100 Greatest Virtual Boy Games Ever You've waited patiently for the next epic checklist from SydLexia.com. Finally, right here it's. The one hundred Greatest Virtual Boy Games Ever!!!

His Name Is Rob Paulsen. Your favorite cartoon characters can not speak for themselves. They are voiced by real people with real names. The man who voiced Yakko Warner has a name. His name is Robert Paulsen.

Happy Birthday/Anniversary Emily! Three years, child! Your parents said we might by no means make it, but we did it! WE FUCKING DID IT! Just kidding. That is Lessons Learned From Are You Afraid of the Dark, Season 7.

Lessons Learned From Are You Afraid of the Dark, Season 6 Just as Are You Afraid of the Dark? returned after a hiatus in 1999, Lessons Learned has returned after a hiatus in 2009. Get prepared for the learniest lessons you may ever study. Also INSIDE: Elisha Cuthbert consuming a sandwich.

Metroid: A Blind Run By Valdronius Up till not too long ago, Valdronius had by no means performed the unique Metroid. We are able to both kill him, or examine his blind run of the game. I like Valdronius, so why don't we no less than give the non-homicide choice an opportunity?

Syd Lexia on All Night Nippon Super Mario Bros. For his a hundredth article, Syd evaluations a rare Mario title that was designed as a promotional item for a Japanese radio program. In this recreation, Mario rescues All Night Nippon DJs from King Koopa, with somewhat help from his trusty Star of David. No, seriously.

A Salute To PrintMaster Plus 2.Zero Back in the great old days, print shop applications had been innovative technology. These days, you need to be borderline retarded to buy one. This article is about the nice outdated days.

Come To The Dark Side, We have Cookies. In this exercise, I eat a field of Star Wars Cookies from 1983 and see what happens. Three years later, I die of cancer. Scientists attribute my dying to "being a whole fucking idiot".

Contra: The Man's Guide To Fucking Like A Porn Star What higher approach to comply with Valdronius than with an article comparing Contra to sexual intercourse? This analogy just isn't in any respect obtuse. That is the greatest factor I've ever written.

Impossible Mission: The Story Of A Research Paper In keeping with Valdronius, enjoying the classic Commodore sixty four game Impossible Mission is lots like writing a analysis paper. Personally, I believe him. Check it out.

Who Watches The Watchmen? That is either a review of the greatest graphic novel ever written, or a review of some Game & Watch video games. Either method, some of you will be disillusioned.

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